I got a message today from my dad. My cousin's marriage is off. They went to the courthouse to get the license and her fiance bailed. I can't imagine the pain and confusion she is feeling now. My heart goes out to her and I hope that this experience doesn't sour her on marriage.

How do you recover from this? The invitations have been sent, friends and family are ready to show up at the temple and reception, gifts have been bought - it's quite the embarrassment I suppose. What must people be saying? Hopefully very little and hopefully what is said is in support of her. But what do you say to someone who has been jilted like this? At least she found out now? At least it wasn't across the alter when he decided to say no instead of yes? At least she doesn't have to go through a divorce? At least there aren't any children involved? Nothing really seems right, does it?

I can't say I've been overly close with this cousin. I know she is one of three girls and I think she's the youngest. Her oldest sister has been married for a while and has at least two boys. I don't know if the other sister has gotten married or not. It's not because I don't care, I do from a distance. I am one of the oldest of the cousins on my dad's side and she is probably a good 10-15 years younger than me. We have a lot of cousins - my dad has 4 siblings. There are 7 kids in my family, 3 in hers, 3 in another, one aunt has a lot - I lost track after 5 - there could be 7 or 8 (one died young) and the youngest uncle has at least 5 - maybe 7.

Her family was out on the east coast while I grew up in NM. We knew they existed and saw pictures, but relationships aren't well-built on such minimal contact. The truth is, I was actually trying to figure out if our family could go up for her reception. Neil really wanted to go though I think the draw for him was spending time with his brother and getting out of the heat of Arizona. I'm actually a bit sad that we didn't go, though I wouldn't have gotten my dad's message and would still have shown up for the reception to find, what? I don't know, but I am more sad that I made excuses than I would have been had I found myself in the position of facing my little known cousin with nothing more than a hug and a heartache.


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