Moving is always a fun discovery process. You unpack the important things first then slowly get around to a box here and a box there. I have a general idea of what is in the remaining boxes and there's no real rush in getting to them, but one of my children needed a box for a school project so I grabbed one that I knew would be easy to reassign the resting place for its contents. It was a box of books. Unlike other boxes of books, this was a combination of a variety of genres, uses, and owners. The kids books I shoved onto a bookshelf that had just enough room. The Tai Chi manual went in my headboard with other self-improvement manuals. The books I picked up from the church bookstore were stored with other prospective Christmas presents. And the remaining books were journals.
One was still empty. Another was the one I used to write talks I had given in church. The third was actually complete, covering my college years. The last was a gratitude journal I started in 2005. It had only one entry. That was probably more embarrassing to me than any of the entries from the college years journal - and there is plenty of fodder for embarrassment there. Not so much what I wrote but the fact that I didn't really take advantage of the gratitude journal. That's not to say I'm ungrateful; I'm just not very good at finishing projects, even those that would prove beneficial to me both on a daily basis and over time. I can't recall why I started the journal - most likely an inspiration from Oprah or church talk. My guess is that at the time I desired to express my gratitude more openly, especially to the Lord, and was convinced that writing in a journal would make me more appreciative of the blessings in my life, even when life seems to be nothing but trial and nuisance.
I still find it difficult to express my gratitude publicly. I do appreciate the efforts of others on my behalf. I am personally embarrassed when others thank me for things that I feel were effortless on my part. I don't think writing in a journal is going to happen. But it might, even if it is just for one more entry. Because that is how I see how I have grown over the years.
In 2005, my one entry of gratitude was for a husband who chose an event for me over one he would have rather attended. He even took care of the babysitting details. And after today, it was a reminder of how good I have it. Today I am grateful for a husband who talks too much to our mechanic. It made all the difference in timing and ability to help when I was ready to walk away from the situation muttering a few choice words. I probably ought to tell him.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I really need to carry around a tape recorder to capture these moments. Yesterday afternoon Rachel and I were leaving to pick up the kids from school. While I fought with my front door, she waited by the car and watched as our across-the-street neighbor came home and two small dogs exited the car. As we got into our car, she explained to me how she needed a small dog who could ride in the suburban with her. I just nodded and tried to focus on driving. As I drove, I realized that she was very intent on getting this puppy wish. She was singing. The song was being made up as she went along but focused completely on her desire for a small dog who would do what she told it to. I was rather impressed by her ability to perform an impromptu aria and she has very good tone quality as well. Of course she is now embarrassed when I tell other people about her song and quickly hushes me up with the explanation that "It's a secret."
at 8:49 PM